A Need for Discipline

The never ending battle.  The argument that almost every husband and wife have.  The back and forth debate of discipline.  Typically, I am guessing, it goes something like this:

"You're too hard on them."
"You're too easy on them."
"These kids are out of control."

At least that is what goes on here at our home.
 And it's getting worse.

We have an almost 7 year old, an almost 5 year old, and an almost 2 year old.  They are cute, sweet, loving, naughty, crazy, and life is stressful and chaotic!

We have done time outs, we have taken things away, we've ignored it, we've done reward charts and jars, we've tried love and logic a bit.  The result-bad behavior and tantrums have continued, they think they should get rewarded when they are good, they think if they cool down and apologize all is well.

We are embarrassed to take them places.  They don't listen, are out of control, not thankful, and rude.  All of this ends with the hubby and I feeling like failures and being frustrated with the kids and each other.

Kids aside, a problem for us in not agreeing and not being consistent.  I'm more the "new age touchy, feely, talk it over" type.  He's more the "old school intimidating and scary" type.  And we both just yell. :/

Today it all clicked into place for me.  (kind of pathetic I know, it's all common sense, but I think it's easy to get in a rut and not see the problem).  Everything I told my kids to do turned into an argument and they flat out were not listening.  Finally, I took away the pool for the day.  My 6 year old wasn't happy, but let it drop.  My four year old started yelling, kicking, crying etc.  After a screaming, thrashing battle I got her to her room.  I'll spare you the details!

 After 45 minutes of this everything became more clear.  My children have no consequences.  They cry, do naughty behavior, apologize, and we move on.  They think "I'm sorry" fixes everything.  The behavior doesn't change though.

It all just kind of dawned on me (it being common sense).  We need to shape and mold these little blessings into good people.  Find a way for them to learn to be well mannered, kind, and pleasant.  Prepare them for the world, well, for now, at least teach them how to act in it! (baby steps!)

I don't think I have ever moved on from the mentality of-they are little and need immediate redirection or consequence, a few minutes in the corner and an apology is punishment enough.  My two older ones are beyond that.  They grew up and so my expectations and consequences and rules need to grow up as well.

I want them to learn values, morals, good behavior etc.  And they need to learn there is a consequence to misbehavior.

So of course I turned to pinterest....I am excited to research my pins tonight and find a new system.  I am currently looking into an if/then chart.  If you do that, this will happen.  And/or a visual of warnings/consequences and where they are sitting.

I hope this DIY project offers a much needed solution to the worn out parents and naughty kids in this household.


Please, please offer up thoughts, suggestions, examples etc.  I will update soon:)