So I made a list of rules/expectations, and then made a list of punishments to go along with it. They get one warning and then the punishment. I am not sold on the punishments-they are a work in progress...
Rule/Expectation (punishment)
-respect mom and dad (30 min. in room)
the way you talk
do as you are told, no arguing
-clean up after self (no elecronics for rest of day)
if you make a mess, clean it up
pick up house, yard, and room before bedtime
help with chores
-attitude (early to bed and no story)
be grateful
say please and thank you
no fighting, arguing, being mean to each other
be kind and respectful
be honest and truthful
be responsible
-misc rules (10 min in room)
no running in the house
no tantrums
inside voices
no messing around at dinner
We are also talking about making a stop/go visual. Each child will have a clothespin. Green/go is good behavior, yellow is caution or warning, red is punishment.
Before we fully implement this I see a few "issues". The visual is great. I know Cam had this at school last year... Will I actually use it though??
Ed pointed out--what do we do when we are not at home? We can't send them to their room for 30 minutes.
What if bad behavior is done before bed? We're not going to do 30 minutes in bedroom before bedtime.
Tonight was an example of another gray area, or hiccup of my new plan.
It's hot and humid! I was not really looking forward to cooking and cleaning up. So I told the kids we were having popcorn, ice cream, and fruit for dinner while we watched a movie. Eyes lit up, squeals filled the room, and excitement was felt in the air.
So when I was ready I said pick out a movie and clean up while I get it all together. Unfortunately they just messed around. I gave them several "looks", but still nothing. So I took away all the fun and we ate leftovers at the kitchen table. That punishment seemed to fit better then the pre planned punishment. (sigh) I want consistency AND flexibility! I want it all!
I may be looking into it a little too much. I just really want known expectations, consequences, and I want consistency! (but flexibility as well I guess :/)
It was a bummer to take away the fun night. I loved how excited they were and was looking forward to it. I typically would have caved and let them do it anyways once they cleaned up. But that's the problem. We do threats and don't carry through. So on the flip side it felt good to "take control".
I'm going to cling to the idea that it may get worse before it gets better (kind of a "culture shock" to all as we shift things) but the end result will be better kids, happier parents....right...??
Please please offer thoughts, suggestions, advice, etc. Did I mention please? ;)
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